3 1/2 Months

What an amazing experience...at six weeks we saw a little heart beating and it just seemed unreal. Now at 14 weeks we actually heard his/her heart beating...so fast (168 beats per minute), it seemed like a little bird beating its wings. It is still a very surreal experience. Soon enough I will be able to feel this being moving. I wonder what its personality will be like...hopefully content and peaceful, maybe fiery and passionate. Both? Is that possible...
In a month and a half we are going to find out if it is a little girl or a little boy. Last night I dreampt it was a boy...we shall see. This whole experience is definitely a test of patience.
(Alright...I have taken a break from my final exam...must get back to it)

baby booties

I have been busy this summer. Took three grad classes and have nurtured and grown a three month old fetus all at the same time! So much for summer vacation. Yes, I am going to have a baby. Consider this an announcement to the world (all 8 of you who have viewed this page in the last month I should say). Pretty crazy to think that come February I will be looking into the eyes of a little face that is a combination of myself and Dan. It is exciting and weird.
More later...

happy birthday?

Remember when 16 seemed old? 21 seemed like it would take an eternity to get to? You would never be 25, right? All the great rock stars died at 27...better to burn out than fade away.
31 just seems...eh...boring.
One too many vodka gimlets the night before made it boring and painful too (belvedere with olives please).

those are fightin words

First fist fight in class today...totally awesome! It's gonna be a long semester!

literally bananas

Eeeeeeew...I don't like them. However, I do like banana bread. It just so happens that I have a bit baking in the oven.
Should be hot and fresh in time for A.I. -- that is American Idol to all you fools that aren't reality television/celebreality/trash television addicts like myself.
Yes...I have all of my semester exams graded. No...I don't officially have to have my grades turned in for five days. I want to sit on my ass for a while and pretend my own reality does not exist. Is that so bad?
Even though I am feeling a tad lazy, part of me acknowledges the need to do something fantastic. I want to write, read a new novel, knit a baby sweater -- something for chrissake -- but instead I think I will just opt for the easy way out tonight.
Afterall...I am baking banana bread.

Recent Obsessions

There are two things that I have been crazy for lately.
#1 - Khakhra
Let me explain to those of you unfamiliar with this wonderful delicacy. They are Indian spiced wheat crisps. They sort of look like a crepe, but are crispy like a cracker with wonderful flavors of curry, fenugreek and cumin. They make a great snack, or as a side to a nice dal and rice. As you can see, I am totally into Indian food lately too. Maybe this would be the general obsession?

#2 - Yorkshire puppies.
I do not consider myself a huge pet person. I have two cats and wish I had none. I do not want to occupy my home with another animal ever again. However, this particular one has stolen my heart. Ever see the movie As Good As It Gets? Well...just think Verdell. Coincidentally, inebriated with some spirits after a nice meal at an Indian restaurant, I walked past a crappy strip-mall pet store and saw him there, head cocked to the side, staring at me quizzically. I could not resist and had to get him out of his plexi-glas box. He immediately started working me over, trying to convince me that I would be the best way for him to be free. I did not give in, even though the price-tag on his life was $25 (unless I read that wrong due to earlier referenced inebriation). I think of Verdell often and hope he twisted some other sucker's arm into springing him from Puppy Palace. I would hate to think that he could still be there waiting for my return.

The Royal (Quiet Deluxe)

It is new and crisp,
child vision fresh.
The ribbon runs through it,
makes it bold and true.
Keys need some oil,
a tune up or down.
The speed is too fast for fingers,
too fast for themselves,
crowded up together like people
dodging the rain
on Flatbush Avenue.
Deadlocked
Break it up with my billy club fingers
start again.
Hear the rhythm in strokes
elevated smoothness,
the melodic ting of the bell.
Metallic and solid
quality made
the quick and the dead.

To George Ohr

It drips through the cracks,
the slip in my fingers.
My headlight is ablaze.
Pry it open
take it crowbar style
to your ranch hands.
It will never get there
unspoiled.
I had it wrapped to save the trouble
It was an ideal,
ripe for the picking
just right but never fulfilled.
The precious two
adjoining rooms
optical illusions to soothe
the solitary confinement.
They never made it past dreams of Arizona
those pretty words
tied snug with satin ribbons.
Keep them in your cedar chest
to fret over when it is too late.
You tell me it is okay to leave
no holding back my reins -
just
go.
You have a callus overgrowth
the twist of your words
just like our bodies.
A knife in my palm -
I can't.
I will accept the last meal
change my horizons to suit you.
Be something for someone else
who is lost.