New Beginnings

Spring is coming. I can tell because the days are getting longer; it is brighter earlier in the morning, and the birds outside act as my pseudo-alarm clock. It is not easy making it through a Chicago winter, even if I live in the suburbs now. Winters in Chicago are cold and nasty. The snow drifts (sidewalk-icebergs of various shades of gray) don't start melting until late April.

I should be feeling great, but I don't just now.

More bad news from my sister. It seems that just when things were looking up, the reality of stage 4 colon cancer comes up and knocks your feet out from under you. My brother-in-law, ex-roommate, and friend of over thirteen years has been fighting this battle since January 24th, 2007. Over a year of physical torture, chemo treatments, surgery -- and things were really getting better. His low was this summer when we visited them. He could barely walk because of pain, and when he did go anywhere, it wasn't long before he had to run to the bathroom. He was embarrassed, depressed, and beaten-down. He lost about fifty pounds, weighing in at 122. He looked skeletal and hollow. Since then, he fought his way back. New hope was regained when he finished chemo treatments and underwent cyber-knife surgery late in 2007. The doctor's professed that every patient that undergoes this surgery has had a successful outcome. Jim looks like his old self. He gained back all the weight he lost, and is feeling well. He signed up to run in the Chicago Marathon for 2008, something he had to miss last year and started to run again. We were all optimistic.

Unfortunately, the definition of "successful outcome" is yet to be determined. The latest scan shows the lesions are still on his liver, yet has not been read by the specialists to determine if they are smaller. Also, an "active" lymph node is now attached to a major artery and cannot be surgically removed.

Jim has to start chemo again.

When he asked his doctors their estimate on how long he would have if he didn't do anymore chemo the answer was shocking -- 8 months. He is only 43 years old. He is my sister's husband, the father of two boys (8 and 7) and a little girl (3). How is this possible?

So, as Spring approaches here, I want to appreciate everything I have. I am healthy. I have a healthy husband. We are happy. Our daughter is perfect and beautiful. She thrives on life every day. I want to remain optimistic that my brother-in-law will be able to beat this. I will be thinking positively about this. I believe in the power of thought. Surrounding myself in negativity will only attract negative outcomes. Life is so precious. It is a miracle.